I forgot my notes this week, so I can´t really tell you the rest of what happened, but I did say that I would share some of my thoughts and feelings.
First of all, though, I did want to talk about my companion. Hermana Hermosa is amazing. She listens and sees the best in everyone. She has a lot of patience with people, but doesn´t like to be in one place for very long or not doing anything. One thing that I am learning from her is the attitude of urgency. She has a wonderful capacity to love and I am very happy to be with her. I´m not sure what it is, but I feel with her, I can truly be myself and I have worth. It´s not to say that with my other companions it wasn´t that way, but Hermana Hermosa seems to have this gift. We are helping one another with the languages and working hard. We also, finally, have a clean house, and I feel great.
The rededication. Hermana Alfaro and I were in the front right section as you came in from the stadium. Nobody saw us, so we must have missed the cameras. Everything was absolutely wondeful. My favorite dance called zapateos. It was the one where all the men danced with their boots. I loved every minute of it. In the meeting with President Eyring (not the rededication) we were in the front row. I never got to enter or see the temple, but it´s ok. I have a feeling that I will have that opportunity one day.
It was wonderful to hear the talks of each apostle. As always, I especially loved the talk of President Eyring. I remembered that President Erying had told the story of his first time calling a missionary about years ago in the General Priesthood Session. Dad came home and told us all about it. Two things called my attention. One was that he asked: ¨All I´m going to get is that little touch of a feeling?¨ A lot of us feel that way. I know that I do often. I remember what one of my bishops said to me. (I believe that it was Bishop Stankosky, but I´m not 100% sure anymore) I was worried because I didn´t think that I felt the Spirit and I struggled every day with that. (I still do sometimes) and he gave me an example. He lightly tapped my foot and asked: ¨Do you notice that? If I keep doing it, you may begin to grow accustomed and not listen.¨ I´ve remembered that after 8 years and will continue to do so. The Spirit doesn´t talk loud and can go unnoticed especially if we become complacent. President Eyring then said something I don´t believe that I will ever forget : ¨I hope I don´t fail.¨ How many times are we afraid to act on a prompting, because we aren´t sure where it came from? How many times are we overly preoccupied and don´t listen to the prompting when it comes? How often to we feel inadequate with the task ahead of us? A scripture that has often gone through my head this week is Ether 12:27: ¨And if men come unto Me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and My grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before Me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in Me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.¨ As we go to the Lord, we find those things that are weaknesses and He can fix them. We should not be discouraged with our weakness, we can rejoice because it gives us another opportunity to draw closer to the Lord. When we say: ¨That´s just how I am.¨ is when we have the problem. The wonderful thing about being a child of God is that we are always changing and growing. The Lord invites us to come unto Him so that He can make us into the person He knows we can be. Our weaknesses can be our strengths. Yes, often we feel inadequate. Yes, often we want to give up. The thing is what we choose to do in times like these. President Eyring had said to himself several times: ¨I hope I don´t fail.¨ Yet, look at where he is and what he is doing.
Faith is an action word. I started understanding that during a talk in Women´s Conference in Provo. Waiting upon the Lord is also an action. We feel as if faith is nothing more than believing and waiting is nothing more than sitting quietly and patiently. It´s much more than that. Faith gives us power and desire to do the will of the Lord. It was by faith that the pioneers endured all that they had to endure. It was by faith that Jesus healed the people. It was by faith that Nephi led his family is the wilderness. Abraham was obedient to all the commandments as he waited upon the Lord for his promised son. The people of Alma prayed with faith in their hearts as they waited upon the Lord to deliver them from bondage. President Gulbrandsen has often talked of these subjects. We have to have faith of power if we are to baptize and speak in the name of the Lord.
It appears my time is up again. I love you all sooooo much and pray for you every day. I know that you all are doing your best. I, too, can see your progress through your letters. You are growing and changing just as I am and I am very proud of all of you.